The Disrespected Wife

The Disrespected Wife

(pic courtesy : Google images. Homes painted this way in Jaisalmer, Rajasthan)

 

Scene: at a Mother-Infant Center. An immigrant couple come to visit a gynaecologist. The woman is pregnant. She uses the opportunity to ask the doctor some questions. To one of her questions, the doc replies:

"Yes, you can definitely avail for the free maternity hamper that includes many essential things a new Mother would require, like some diapers, baby bottle, milk for baby etc. But please be aware that this hamper box is only for one time, you can't expect to receive it free every month."

The immigrant pregnant mother immediately dropped her gaze to the ground. She felt shame. She had indeed expected to receive it free every month. Her husband had told her so. Obviously he had been misinformed. Again. Her husband avoided looking at her. He looked cowed-down and helpless. Yet again..

"How different my husband is to my eyes now compared to the time I got married. My regard for him drops more and more now that I am here in France with him. Before moving here, we were constantly messaging each other. He filled my eyes about coming to live in Paris. I, who have never been out of my country, coming to live in France was a dream I couldn't believe would come true. I looked forward to that magical life. Alas, my dream has turned to a nightmare. Shame and Disrespect is what I have to live with every day now. Back home, I came from an educated and well-off family. My head was held up high, I was even known to be arrogant. My family had money and education, we never had to beg for anything. Surrounded daily by friends, going places easily with my parents and siblings, my conscience was light and clear. I wasn't troubled about my future. Here, I am stifled under the weight of Loneliness and Insecurity. "

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Sharing my thoughts: 

This is a scenario I encounter often. Immigrant men who have successfully got the much-awaited status to remain in France for a while. They immediately arrange to get married back home. Using their "legal status to live in France", they lure and bait women from their community who are much younger, better looking and better educated than they themselves to come and live overseas. When the women arrive freshly in France, I see them looking innocent yet proud of their husband's "accomplishments". Slowly when the truth starts seeping in, that the husband always has to turn to the state for freebies because on his own he can do very little to support himself to have a decent life, do the new wife's eyes start opening. She sees the many cracks in the promises. Often, I see hate between husband and wife, separation and divorces. It's sad but rarely do I see an immigrant couple who genuinely have affection for each other. In their generally stifled lives, they have no time to explore their "friendship". Often many of such women, unable to return home, live a life simply locked up in their homes, a sign of having given up.